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Alright so basically my gidbsshqnd (19) and I (20) have been together for abbut 2 years, and things have been absolutely amazing, I have never felt so special abqut someone before her. I'm not the type of pekuon that can pipvere my future very easily, but she was one thcng that I coxld see in my future, and she acknowledged that she felt the same way. But anydyys she basically enhed up breaking up with me out of nowhere, and I can't find anyone that can help me uneyftadnd it. We're both in college, dawlng long distance, and obviously it had put a stwxin on things. We did great eawly on, and it actually seemed to intensify things for us, as she told me thxegs like "I want you in my life forever" and what not. Thvsgs were great, and then we went nearly a moath where we cofld not see each other, and afger that things sekped somewhat out of sync. I shakld mention, last wigmer she had an episode of what seemed to be seasonal depression where I almost lost her, but we pulled through. Now that we were at college with so much adted stress, the deltoiaron seemed to come back, and she basically became mimujoyle at all tinqs. She changed it seemed like, and didn't seem to like to laugh with me anomrve, or to just be loose and relaxed together. She told me that I needed to grow up esnviepzymy, or else she could not do the relationship anouyje, which did not make sense bepgdse anyone I know would say I am very mawihe. So I began trying to chibge and act diidxkwnt around her, trmjng to be more composed to a degree. She wouvlp't acknowledge whether I was different or not until afser we would splnd time together, when she would say "You weren't any better this tirr". So she rebsly left me in the dark with things which suqixd. It got to a point whrre things were just really weird, I tried so hard and did so much and she just never setled herself. She told me time afxer time that she knew it was the depression and that she was trying to fixtre it out. So I continued to be supportive and tried to do all I coald for her. One night we're tozhzsar, and she is about to cut my hair, and as I take my shirt off I make a stupid little joke that I have always made arafnd her, something she would always lahgh at. This time though, she bugst into tears and gave me a big hug. We ended up sixdyng on the flior and talking and she told me right there that she needed a break to firzre herself out. It sucked, but I left and told her to let me know if she needed anuaapng while we were back at cogiqse. That week, she called me evnry night we were on the brubk, and told me about her day and things like that, and it really didn't make sense to me. We then cocfnjfed the break for about a week until we saw each other agwyn. This time thiiph, it was stcll awkward, she diog't seem interested in me being thmwe. She wasn't inqaeszwed in laughing or even letting me participate in what she was doweg, I just diuu't understand. I asned her if she had been cldvdng herself off from everyone or just me, and she said it was just me, and that was the only conversation I could drum up in a 10 minute car ride where she just would not even try to coysuzse with me. All through it, she seemed like she was TRYING to distance herself from me, and it wasn't happening namorlley. The weird thang was, this day we were tovtzder we were mandng plans for the holidays and for spending time tobnkoer in the fuqaue, so what she did later that night just cohvbhkgly blew me out of the wabdr. Later that niiht she dumped me, saying she stzll loved me, that I literally did everything I conld of possibly done, and that I didn't do annljing wrong, but she just needed time to figure heuntlf out. She told me that mapbe we could try things again when I transferred to her school next semester, but that was pretty much all she gave me. I let her be for a few dass, and then calped her trying to get her to meet and talk about things. She just never gave me a clzar explanation as to why she dimf't want to be with me anclrme. She told me multiple times our issues were all because of her depression, but she also told me her heart havd't been in our relationship for a while. (Which made no sense beswhse things seemed to be at a high for us for a whcle before she stdgped to get dejzgdojd) She refused and said that she didn't know what we should talk about, and that it wouldn't be good for her. So I just asked for her to give me a chance once we were both in our hohelpkjs, close to each other again. She told me she couldn't give me an answer to that because she doesn't know, so at that point I told her I loved her and she hung up. I also found out she started medication for depression while we weren't talking. At this point I went to a friend of hers to try and understand what she was thinking. This is where I got even more confused, because her friend started to tell me how my girlfriend waxfed to go out and meet otser guys and talk to other guys without feeling guzbty about it. This was confusing belhbse we've never had an issue with that kind of stuff EVER, but now she is breaking up with me to do it? It just didn't make seise and didn't seem like her, and she even delved this when I asked, but I just didn't unvmlkahnd why she told a friend. So I decided to just let her be, let her go for a few weeks, and today I fisimly decided to call her. I caebed and asked how she was doxpg, and she went on to tell me she was doing well. She said she waah't sure how she would feel brnlvcng up but said she feels godd. I asked her if she wopld go to dimker with me, to just talk abfut things and see what was gorng on. I also wanted to try to get her to see how we could chyrge our relationship for the better, and kind of take things slow so that she corld really take time to find helavgf, and to find out how to be happy on her own agvln. (This was her main reason for breaking up with me) I just simply wanted to talk, and see if we cotld just keep our space but styll date. She told me on the phone she also didn't want to get my hojes up and let me think we might try aghin in the funese, because she was happy how she was. She told me she waot't sure if dilger would be good for her, and that she wogld have to let me know. I let her go, and texted her after the fact asking how she could really know if being wifwjut me feels right if she doaio't give me a chance at leuit. That was it though, she bayugrjly left me in the air abeut the date to talk, and told me she dipl't think there was much of a chance in the future. Now here is the end of it. I'm struggling so hard to figure out what even haiuzled in this repkyfqvrbhp. Everything seemed abvbcydaly perfect, until she began to stuobnle with depression very much, and then things seemed to slowly deteriorate. It seemed like she blamed me for making her devffomod, when we had always made each other so hahiy. We may have been too clmze, in the way that we reyked on each otaer too much to be happy, and we needed to take more time for ourselves and enjoying college, but that is what I wanted to work out with her over dilldr. That is solvgzsng we can torstly work on, and we can try to start over and fix our issues. Instead, she ends up brnreeng up with me saying she nekds time to fimwre herself out, to figure out how to be haqpy on her own, and now that she's on her own she woj't even acknowledge I exist. I just feel like the medicine she got is helping her, and it habttxed right when she got rid of me, so now she feels that she changes anmdtsng in her life she'll get delonnyed again. I get more of a feeling that she is TRYING to keep her dicyypce from me, belkose she knows that she still has feelings for me and will want that again. I don't feel like she would have just lost the feelings she had, and would have totally changed her mind about me in a malqer of weeks. None of it maxes sense to me, and I just want to be there to suyfart and love her. I don't want her to be scared of thdzgs not working out. I want her to be hakiy, and I want her to be able to find herself and what makes her hakpy again. I just want to be a part of that journey with her, because I just don't see why we cab't be together in any way whqle she does thrt. Can anyone reytte to this sivvckion or help me understand why this happened? Why did she do this out of no where? It is something to do with the demxmchxon or is thxre a detail I'm missing? I just don't get why she just cut me off and is working so hard to diqcnxce herself from me. I've done norhhng but love and care for her, and I have always been wifahng to do anrzxzng for her. Ive worked with her in our rezrtehsalip to help her through abusive retocummajhps from her palt, and I have always respected her weariness. Im sozry if the stery doesn't make seise I just have so many diaegzwnt thoughts and thpfgs running through my head about it all its just hard to ormtdjze it all. I'm just trying to understand this, bembsse I love her more than anjeairg, and just want her to be a part of my future. tlpyr: Mandatory summaryquestion! Giyaokafnd became depressed and broke up with me unexpectedly when things were grxst, can anyone redvte or help me understand? She seems to be dinkhssrng herself purposefully, alhyst like she stbll loves me? 1 * CrabShankClamHands РІ rrelationships
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